When The Rain Is Not Forgiven, Short story Options

[O-jo Moonshade]

I was rifling through some boxes of old stuff during my recent trip to Tassie and was really happy to find this story. It's one that I wrote a looooong time ago (Actually, when I was fifteen) and has a warm-fuzzy place in my heart as the first story of mine to be rejected by an official publishing house. (hehe) But I like you guys so for some mad reason I thought I'd share. It's an example of my early work. Hope you enjoy it anyway.


When the Rain is Not Forgiven (by Ash A. Hulme)

In the middle of nowhere there is a farm. It is long ago and Mother-Woman is taking Old Bull for a walk. Old Bull is slow, and old, and has difficulty getting up the hill.
Suddenly, Rain decides to wet the Earth, for Earth is thirsty, but he has chosen the wrong time, and Old Bull gets bogged in the mud.
However hard Mother-Woman pulls on Old Bull, she cannot get him out. She yells to the sky, “Curse you, Rain! You have softened the Earth so that Old Bull cannot move and I cannot get him out. I promise I will never forgive you!”
Rain is hurt to feel so unwanted, so he goes away, vowing not to come back until he is forgiven.

Then there is a drought, and Old Bull dies. The Brown Lake dries up, and Mother-Woman looks up at the sky, and she says:
“Rain, Rain, please come down – so that Little Girl can swim in the River, and Little Boy can play with stones by the water’s edge, and Faithful Dog can paddle to the other side of the Brown Lake to fetch sticks, and Lazy Cat can lap up cool water from the Lake, and Big Man can wet the stone to sharpen his axe, and Little Baby can get a drink.”
And Rain hears and asks: “Am I forgiven?” And Mother-Woman says: “I promised myself that I would never forgive you about Old Bull. I do not break promises.”

So the drought continues, and all the wild animals move away to find water, but Mother-Woman and her family stay on the farm because it is their home. Now they can find neither food nor water, and Mother-Woman looks up at the sky once more, and she says:
“Rain, Rain, please come down – so that Little Girl can swim in the River, and Little Boy can play with stones by the water’s edge, and Faithful Dog can paddle to the other side of the Brown Lake to fetch sticks, and Lazy Cat can lap up cool water from the Lake, and Big Man can wet the stone to sharpen his axe, and Little Baby can get a drink.”
And Rain hears and asks: “Am I forgiven?” And Mother-Woman says: “I promised myself that I would never forgive you about Old Bull. I do not break promises.”

So the drought continues.

Three weeks pass them by, and Little Baby dies. And as she kneels by Little Baby’s grave, Mother-Woman looks up at the sky once more, and she says:
“Rain, Rain. I forgive you. Please come down.”
So Rain knows that he is forgiven, and he comes back to feed the thirsty Earth. Then Little Girl can swim in the River, and Little Boy can play with wet stones by the water’s edge, and Faithful Dog can paddle to the other side of the Brown Lake to fetch sticks, and Lazy Cat can lap up the cool water from the Lake, and Big Man can sharpen his axe, and all the animals return so the meat is plentiful.

…But Little Baby does not get a drink.

[Peridot]

Thank you for letting us read your story, Ash. I think you're a very good writer.

So much stubbornness and it caused a lot of grief. (Secretly, I doubt Mother-Woman really forgave Rain )

Peridot

[TaBet]

Hi Ash, thanks for sharing.
I like your story.
Sorry, I am tired, too late for a more detailed opinion, but I wonder if I will meet Rain in my dream when I go to bed right now. (I'd like Scotty to be me up there right now :-))

[O-jo Moonshade]

Thanks guys. Don't meet Rain in your dreams -- that's the first step on a path to a messy night!

I was so happy to find all this old stuff from storage. Still a lot there though.